We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
