He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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