Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
two words: eviction party
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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