If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
