i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
