he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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