Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
