I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
