He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
