farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
