how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
