Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
