I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
