i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
