I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
