...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
