She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
