I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He better not be in your backpack
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
