Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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