So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
