I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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