You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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