Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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