were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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