Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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