ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Your cock deserves a montage
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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