I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
