he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
