remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize