Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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