Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
