I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
