whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
