Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
