she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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