Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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