dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize