i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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