I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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