Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
literally had 100 drinks last night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
