this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
