Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
