i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
