Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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