that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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