I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
