Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
