and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
