Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
