roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
