I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
it hurts more in the daytime
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
