im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
