So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
