Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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