Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
