Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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