About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
