is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize