.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
