I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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